The following thought provoking article was written by Lewis Napper. It
struck a cord with so many folks and got passed around so much that it has
become an Internet Legend.
The Bill of No Rights
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the
blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great
grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common
sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other
liberal bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No
Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big
screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone
- and not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always
will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from
harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and
housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than
the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care.
That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm
other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions
of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in
a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life
of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our
children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We
hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to
fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do
not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with
a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us
sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being
an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the
way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.